Actually, scrub that, I don't know where to begin. It was going to be the tale of how in the 80s I had a whole bunch of comedy heroes that we called 'alternative', who didn't do things in the traditional way. The Young Ones, The Comic Strip Presents, Saturday Live et al. But I am so shocked at the horror of The Wright Way (BBC1, Tuesday, 10.35pm) I can hardly type.
Ben Elton,like Richard Curtis was a raw comedy writer back in the day (first series of Blackadder, Mr C ?) and they were transformed to writing stars of stage and screen.
So I don't know what Ben Elton was trying to achieve when he sat down to 'create' Gerald Wright. I can't imagine he amused even himself.
Three minutes in I decided that this was a parody; it had to be! A show within a show, like Andy Millman's When the Whistle Blows.
But no; this carried on, blithely unaware that the words were painfully trite, cliched, unfunny, the delivery (from the otherwise trustworthy David Haig no less) shouty and over acted.
Look! Our main character can't use the loo at home because of his lesbian daughter and her posh ditsy girlfriend (with whom he has no problem,so why include her except so she can be posh and ditsy?) ! Look ! He can't cope with a push down tap ! Oh no, now the tap water has sprayed on his trousers and he HAS A BIG MEETING ! Cue lots of hilarity in the audience !
I'm shaking my head in utter disbelief and I'm only 6 and a half minutes in.
I wonder if Ben Elton (for he is the proud creator of this atrocity) is in fact going for post-modernism. You know, trying to be like it was in the good old bad old days of awful ITV stuff like On the Buses ? I can just imagine what he would have made of the first seven minutes of The Wright Way during his stand up routine in the spangly suit on Saturday Live. Mind you, he managed to get in a knob joke. Which was sort of funny on The Young Ones but that was 1984 and we were all still at school.
Mr Elton has set his 'sit-com' in Essex. We know this because his daughter is doing her best to speak Estuary English (eg, "She lef' a bi' o' bu'er in the Marm'e") but also because he works for Baselricky Council (Basildon / Billericay - really clever, Mr E - must be ever so funny in your Primrose Hill mansion).
Mr Wright addresses his staff and the dialogue hits the audience so heavily over their heads with its un-subtlety - yes, we get it, you aren't there to use common sense yadda yadda - we should have been issued with hard hats.
14 minutes in and to be honest I am thinking of sticking a knife into a live plug socket just to end this agony.
We are then treated to an 'irascible middle aged man gets indignant in a shop' scene and there's a PLOT POINT THIS WAY sign -like one of those Golf Sale ones- when he purchases an item with the security tag left on, but loses the receipt - with hilarious* consequences.
*not hilarious.
One knob & two erection double entendres later, a cleaner who constantly catches Gerald fiddling with himself in the loo and an acronym that spells Balls Up, I'm thinking is this the best Ben Elton can do now? I'm confused, I'm shaking my head and asking myself - this was meant to be complete cobblers, yes? We're supposed to 'get' that it is every which way a bad sit com, the kind Elton himself used to parody ? If it is meant to be that, it has misfired. If it isn't meant as satire of the sit com and it is for real, then it has misfired.
So for reasons of your health and safety, I'd avoid this absolute stinker if I were you.
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